It's such a happy occasion when a best friend, family member, or someone you've known for years gets engaged to be married—and it's an honor to end up in their wedding party.
However, being a bridesmaid is also a significant financial commitment. The role comes with many obligations—you'll have parties to host and attend, wedding-day duties to support the couple, and outfits to purchase.
The costs associated with being in the wedding party can rapidly add up, so it's essential to understand the financial expectations. As a bridesmaid, it's normal and encouraged to chat about finances before offering up your time, energy, and service as a wedding party member.
One of the most relevant expenses as a bridesmaid is the bridal shower—a daytime event to celebrate the bride's upcoming marriage and shower her with gifts.
We wrote about who typically pays for bridal showers here. This cost is traditionally split amongst the bridal party members, but this information is relevant for whoever you're splitting it with.
If everyone in the planning committee is on the same page, and no one pays more (or less) than their fair share, it will result in a happier, less stressful shower. And what's the point of spending all of this money if it's not going to be fun?
In this post, you'll learn the etiquette of splitting the bill for the bridal shower, with tips that include:
- Plan the budget ahead of time
- Don't go overboard on spending
- Decide what gifts you'll get the bride
- Elect a bridal shower treasurer
- Be firm but fair about bridal shower costs
- Braid Money Pools are your friend
Here's what to consider when it comes to the (sometimes awkward) wedding party etiquette of splitting the bridal shower bill.
Plan the budget ahead of time
Winging the tab and paying each other back during the bridal shower planning seems like it will work—until someone forgets to save receipts or send payment requests, and all hell breaks loose.
Forgo the wedding party etiquette drama by drafting up expenditure and itinerary planning when putting together the bridal shower.
Research costs related to food and beverage, decorations, gifts, games and prizes, photo booths, shower favors—anything that comes up during the party planning process. Remember to add in the cost of covering the guest of honor (the bride) divided amongst the payees.
Compile all of the totals and send them to the group. From there, everyone should discuss if they agree that all costs are necessary and throw out any ideas for alternatives. That way, everybody will know they'll be expected to pay, and there will be no bill disputes.
Decide what gifts you'll get the bride
We'd all love to give our brides the most extravagant, unforgettable gifts—but let's be honest, we can't always do that. Someone must tell that to that overzealous maid of honor in your wedding crew who's suggesting you pool your money to buy the bride that set of uber-expensive bone china plates.
However, you can spend more on big-ticket item gifts as a group. You could all work together to put money towards something she’ll really love, and collect contributions via a Braid Pool.
We’ve got a list of Braid’s recommendations for unique group gifts: 10 Unique Group Bridal Shower Gift Ideas
Long before the shower, all planning committee members should get together (sans bride) and decide what their gifts will be. By "gifts," this includes determining whether you all will pay for the entire bridal shower. If the bridal party group can't cover the budget, it's time to get a mother or aunt of the bride involved, for example.
Have the maid of honor conference with the bride first to check their expectations. From there, they can relay the information to the rest of the crew to give direction on what the gifts should be.
Elect a bridal shower treasurer
Whether it's the maid of honor or just a person in the wedding party group who's particularly financially savvy, one person should take charge of keeping track of what's spent and who owes what.
Electing a bridal shower treasurer will help maintain good wedding party etiquette because the costs will be clearly communicated and tracked. This person should be comfortable handling and being in charge of money (which can be tricky for some people) and be confident enough to follow up when members haven't contributed their fair share.
Making sure everyone is even is the best way to keep everybody in the group happy. Luckily, there are money apps like Braid Money Pools to help them gather contributions and keep an eye on the bridal shower finances.
Being the bridal shower treasurer doesn't have to be daunting! Try Braid Money Pools to track costs with ease.
Be firm but fair about bridal shower costs
Sure, you want to keep things light and fun when planning a party—but it's also important to be fair, considerate, and diplomatic with how you spend your money. Try to avoid expenses slipping through the cracks, where some people are paying more than they should and others not enough.
Braid Pools are a great way to transparently spend money as a group!
When you sign up to pay for a bridal shower, you agree to fork over some dough—and all of your fellow group members have done so with the same understanding. So when everyone decides to splurge on the top-shelf alcohol to serve at the shower, everyone should pay the same amount.
Approach bridal shower planning with a pay-to-play attitude instead of an overly charitable one. And if anyone can't afford to pitch in their fair share, talk it over with the entire group and work something out together before covering for them. You'll likely discover that most people will be just fine with that.
Braid Money Pools are your friend
You’ve planned your itinerary, chosen your gifts, and set your budget. Now it’s time to start collecting contributions from your bridal shower group—and Braid can help make the process easy and efficient.
Braid Money Pools eliminate the frustration of figuring out who owes what and sending individual reimbursements. Instead, you can create a dedicated money pool for bridal shower expenses.
Divide the expenses to find out how much everyone needs to contribute. From there, using the Braid app makes the money-splitting process simple. Here's how it works:
- Create a Braid Pool devoted to the bridal shower
- Invite members to the pool within the app—share the Pool Link with your bridal shower group to collect contributions
- Tell everyone how much they need to contribute in the Pool Link
- Pay for expenses for all things related to the bridal shower from the pool using the Braid debit card
Splitting expenses for a bridal shower doesn't have to be stressful. Everyone can transparently see where and how the money is being spent, and you can forgo the hassle of collecting money from every individual paying for the shower.
